I know you remember at least one particular person upon reading this. Either a friend, a relative, neighbor, classmate, workmate, or whoever that is who’s giving you a hard time dealing with them, or even with your life.
Here are some of the traits that they possess you might take into consideration to label them as toxic:
- They talk about people.
- They drag others down.
- Not grateful of what they have.
- Gives you a heavy air upon encounter.
- Not able to absorb advice that could help them.
- Does not listen to criticisms.
- Has a “This is me, i can’t change for them!” personality.
We know “toxic” people can be the most exhausting people to deal with. But here are the least that we can do for them to help ourselves get out of their toxicity... without getting toxic too.
Understand Them
Even though it is not that obvious, toxic people are humans too just like you who needs understanding.
But that understanding requires you more patience. Of course, you might think that it is unfair for you to understand their toxicity. But that’s the thing.
When you get to understand them, you will get relieved that “this” and “that” are the causes of their toxic attitude.
Because, come to think of it, what if it is your boss who is toxic?
Would you just quit your job immediately? Probably not.
Root Cause of their Toxicity
Knowing what causes their toxicity could be a very hard job. But it is not, just talk to them casually and get to know them personally but not deeply. Focus on questions that will reveal what can be the culprit for their unfavorable behavior. So that, you will get that “Oh! That’s why.” thinking whenever the person spreads toxicity around you.
Learn to say No
Especially when you encounter them most of the time. Or when they get to be in your circle. Saying no could be a huge thing for you to escape from that person, or even people. Making yourself unavailable too could help you from getting distant to what causes toxicity in you. After all, what matters the most is your peace of mind and getting out of the stress that they cause you.
Avoid Them
One of the easiest thing to do. For instance, that particular person is known for causing such trouble due to his or her toxic behavior. Avoiding them could be a thing for you not to get yourself involved to the toxicity that the person causes, especially when it is getting out of the hand.
Never Involve Yourself
Firstly, it is not your job to change them from the attitude that they used to. Just let them be the person that they are. Never be sorry that you did not helped them. Be nice to them, but NOT at all times for it will lead to them taking advantage of you. Let them realize that their toxicity is the one who leads them in such trouble or in a situation that they created by themselves. Oftentimes, they hate taking into account the damages that have made to a person due to their toxic mentality.
And most importantly, when you are ready to bid goodbye to a toxic friend, make sure to do it permanently. Because toxic people are everywhere, and they keep on coming back when it is convenient to them.
Look at Yourself
It is NOT always your surroundings that is toxic. You might want to buy a mirror and try to take a look at yourself. Sometimes, we do not notice that we are the one’s who contribute to the toxic air that we breathe. We should know beforehand our limits. Because to tell you, not everyone will understand you. And as the saying goes, respect begets respect. Never expect for respect when you have not exerted an effort to do so.
Be Kind
Not everyone shares the same struggles as you. And not everyone handles struggles as good as you do. So don’t be the reason for someone to stop doing what he is good at. We must learn to empathize for us to understand what others feel and for us to respond accordingly to a particular situation.
